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The Men’s Group now has three ways to keep in touch

Posted by Kurt on Jun 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

Blog Newsletter

  • Sign up for The Men’s Group Blog Newsletter and be notified of all the latest postings to the blog.  This will also be the “home base” for new information about the group.


FaceBook


  • ‘Like” us on FaceBook and connect with other guys.


Twitter

  • Follow our tweets for up to the minute updates.

Click on the above icons
and pick one or several ways to keep in touch with what’s going on with The Men’s Group.

Talk to you soon!

Kurt

 
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Welcome to The Men’s Group Website & Blog

Posted by Kurt on May 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

Blog Newsletter

  • Sign up for The Men’s Group Blog Newsletter and be notified of all the latest postings to the blog.  This will also be the “home base” for new information about the group.


FaceBook


  • ‘Like” us on FaceBook and connect with other guys.


Twitter

  • Follow our tweets for up to the minute updates.

Click on the above icons
and pick one or several ways to keep in touch with what’s going on with The Men’s Group.

Talk to you soon!

Kurt

We had a great discussion at Monday’s meeting about the pitfalls of being overly accommodating in our relationships with others: i.e. being a “Nice Guy”.

 

A few thoughts came up in the discussion:

  • Nice Guys are not trust-able because you never know how they feel about things. They are emotional chameleons, artificial always wanting to please and be accepted.
  • They often have “covert contracts” – or un-voiced expectations for reciprocation of their helpful acts – with others.
  • These issues can also show up at work when you have a job where you have little control over your day-to-day activities and/or you are very invested in not “rocking the boat”.  In both cases, pancreatitis you may end up cramming down your real thoughts and opinions, again, just to please and fit in.

 

Take Aways for Recovering “Nice Guys”:

  • The inverse/”cure” to being a “Nice Guy” is being an “Authentic Guy”: make your expectations and needs known. You really do matter!… and you will be happier and less stressed for it.
  • Make yourself a priority; don’t always put your needs aside to please others.
  • When faced with a decision, make up your mind of what you would want before asking others for their opinion. You can still discuss options with others, but now you have an opinion to weigh against theirs.
  • Be open to others disagreeing with you. They aren’t necessarily against you. They just have a differing idea about it. Don’t ‘back-peddle’ your opinions just to please. In general, people will respect you more for having an opinion and standing behind it.
  • Take time daily to practice lowing your stress and anxiety. “Nice Guys” are often anxious and need to practice keeping centred, so as not to succumb to un-resourceful reactions. Breathe!

 

Many men have “Nice Guy” tendencies to varying degrees and they can be very debilitating to not only our relationships, but also to our own basic sense of integrity, self worth and happiness. The key is not to wallow in the guilt of doing it, but to make some small, authentic steps of power in your life, experience how good it feels and repeat!

How much will you give trying to make others happy?

Maybe the personal costs are getting too high?

How much is too much?
Question:

When is being helpful, malady accommodating or generally a “nice guy” hurting you more than it helps others?

At work, diagnosis we have all been taught to be ‘team players’ and sensitive to others.  In our romantic relationships it can seem the “right thing” to do or just easier to defer to our partners.  We should all aspire to being socially sensitive to others, but there can be a certain pathology to being a “nice guy” if you are repeatedly selling out on your personal opinions and wants just to avoid conflict.

Come out this month’s gathering and discuss this important, relationship topic with us.

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When: Monday, June 20;     7 – 8:30 pm

Where:

Sugar Ridge Retreat Centre
5720 Forget Road, Wyebridge
(Get directions here.)

Cost: $15 is appreciated or pay what you can.

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Resources:

You may find these resources interesting for this month’s discussion:

The Secret Lives of Men Podcast: No More Mister Nice Guy – Interview with Robert Glover
(can also be downloaded in iTunes)

OR

The New Man Podcast: No More Mister Nice Guy – Interview with Robert Glover
(the interview is of the same author, about the same book, but may have a few different ideas on the subject.)


See you soon!

Kurt

Hi Guys!

The Men’s Group website has been undergoing a lot of changes and we are happy to announce a new look and blog. (A big thanks goes out to Men’s Group member Brian Muller for his design and management of the site! He created the images for the theme of the blog….. thoughts?)

The blog will be the headquarters for all of the details about upcoming meetings and resources you can check out. Posts will be sent directly to you via the group’s newsletter, tooth but you can always access them here on the site. You can also comment on anything you find on the blog and we encourage deeper discussions. There is a calendar that we will use to post any events you can join and a more detailed resource page will slowly evolve with manly media for you to read, viagra dosage listen to and watch.

Have a look around and let us know what you think. More posts will come soon!

Later,

Kurt

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